Most Excited About the UFL Award Goes to Me

Professional football is coming back to Orlando, and I'm talking real football. Not played in a basketball arena on a 50 yard field, no interceptions by fans, and no air conditioning to keep you cool. Thats right, at the games you'll get to sweat as much as the players. Last night was the secret draft, and Orlando did a pretty good job. Brooks Bollinger who played with the Cowboys last year will be quarterback. Brooks led a drive against the Giants last year for a touchdown. And if that doesn't get you excited injury prone Chris Perry was also selected by Orlando. Chris Perry was a first round pick for the Bengals in 2004 and has 2 more NFL touchdowns than I ever will.

Other teams in the UFL will be in Las Vegas, New York, and San Francisco. Lets hope that in the league of two worded cities the city with one word will be King.

Vacation?

Apparently all you need to do to get traded away from Denver these days is casually mention traveling somewhere to your GM. Here's an actual, unedited transcript of a conversation between Brandon Marshall and Brian Xanders:

Marshall: "Hey Brian, I'm thinking of going to Florida for a week before training camp. You know, check out the South Beach scene and relax on the beach a little."
Xanders: "You've just been traded to Miami for a box of cocoa puffs and a year's subscription to Us Weekly"
Marshall: "Hey all I wanted to do was go on vaca..."
Xanders: "Too late!"

Seriously, the whole Jay Cutler thing was kind of absurd and there will be personality clashes sometimes. But why even think about trading away your best up-and-coming receiver? Something's rotten in the city of Denver.

Drought Season is Upon Us

One of the best postseasons in recent memory is just behind us. Watching it, we found out that Kobe can win without Shaq. We learned that King James can't win without, well, anyone else. We were surprised that the Rockets could win games without Tracy McGrady OR Yao Ming, and that the Celtics could do the same without KG. We learned that if one overtime is exciting, two is a heart attack. We grew to really, really hate commercials featuring NBA players as muppets. But over the course of the last 40 or so days, we learned that the NBA can sometimes actually be exciting to watch. Now that it's over, only three questions remain: What do we do with our time now? What will we learn next postseason? And will we ever get that Kanye West "Amazin" theme out of our heads?

While you ponder that, I've got to go figure out what channel baseball is on these days.

I need a break from the weekend

What a beautiful thing this weekend was. Playoff hockey and basketball, and the NFL draft. I guess that car race also happened, and I think that was a big deal because theres that Will Ferrell movie about it. That race seems to be the talk of the sports world today, seeing as how it was like a summer blockbuster with the first couple hours being boring then finishing with a crash and fire.

The NFL draft was hours and hours of sports with out any actual sports being played. NFL fans where so hyped up on Friday and now everyone seems to be let down. We can all be happy to not be Raiders fans though. With a lack of Raiders fans at the bar, Darrius Heyward-Bey was able to give us all a much needed laugh. As for my beloved Bucs, I hope I'm wrong in my initial thought of "stupid, stupid, stupid." I guess they're hoping for another win in the most quarterbacks stat.

Somehow someone has time to watch baseball even though playoff hockey and basketball is going on. Luckily for me that someone is giving me updates on how the Mets can manage to blow what seems like every game. As for the playoffs, lots of excitement. The ugly play of both Boston and Chicago is making for some close games, and the Rangers are trying to give the Caps a trip to the second round.

I Don't Want This Series To End...And At This Rate It Won't

Once again, the Celtics and Bulls went into overtime. And then, just for fun, they decided to go into a second one. I don't think I've seen a more exciting NBA game in the last five years than the one I saw earlier today. I might just get back into watching basketball on a regular basis if this keeps up.

Oddly enough, the NFL draft didn't really interest me this year. I figure I'll find out who made what team when the season begins.

The Red Sox and Yankees play another game tonight. That rivalry is probably the most exciting to watch out of anything in baseball. The only thing that can take my attention off this game tonight will be if Joe Morgan is as terrible as he always is.

Puppy Bowl

They Play Hockey In April?!

The NHL playoffs start tonight. A few quick thoughts:

-NHL 09 did a simulation that has the Boston Bruins winning the whole thing. I say that's good enough for me! Saves a whole lot of unnecessary beard-growing.

-Please, hockey gods do not let Sidney Crosby past the first round. We can only stand so much unwarranted hero-worship.

-Congratulations to the Columbus Blue Jackets for making the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. No, I don't know who they are either.

-The New Jersey Devils will probably prove to be the most boring team to ever advance past the first round. Someone mention to coach Dave Sutter that the point of hockey is to actually score goals.

All that said, I think the Red Wings will come out of the West, and the Montreal Canadiens will come out of the East, just because I want to hear NBC commentary in both French AND English.