Magic keep ESPN happy, let Heat win the east

In an effort to satisfy ESPN, the Orlando Magic have made no attempts to improve there team this off season. With rumors of Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony flying around Orlando chooses to keep Vince "he won the dunk contest in the 90's" Carter and Jameer "did we really keep him instead of Rafer Alston" Nelson. The small market of Orlando shouldn't be too sad though, head coach, Stan Van Gundy, is no longer allowed to wear turtle necks during games.

As an attempt to show good sportsmanship Life on the Bandwagon would like to congratulate the Miami Heat/L.A. Lakers on their championship. May this congratulations jinx you both.

*cough cough* Sorry coach I can't come into work today.

Gilbert Arenas was recently busted for skipping work. The pillows arranged to look like his sleeping body under a blanket worked perfectly as did the recording of his voice saying he's too sick to get out of bed. His one mistake was his plan to drive his car in reverse to make it seem like he didn't go out. "Next time I'll take the bus," commented Arenas. Arenas seems to be learning from his mistakes. He didn't have a gun with him. Wizard fans have a lot to be excited for as talks about renaming the team back to the Bullets are circulating.

It's 2010 and Jim Rome still has a goatee

When I first started this blog one of the things I wanted to make fun of was the sports media. I was driving a lot, which meant listening to a lot of sports talk on the radio. It's to be expected that any sports news will lack intellectual stimulation, but I found the misfortune of listening to one show in particular that was completely void of any thought. That show belonged to Jim Rome.

I haven't listened to his show since then, but was reminded of his existence today while searching for tailgating rules for the UCF Spring Game. The memories returned to me as if I was remembering why I hate lizards. Congratulations Jim Rome. Your show is just as bad as opening your blinds to see two lizards making hanky panky on the outside of your window and the girl lizard is bleeding out her vagina while a lizard dick is forced into it.

I'm not trying to shock anyone by talking about lizard dick. It's just the only comparison that does justice to how bad his radio show is. From what I understand he has a TV show, which might be watchable for all I know.