Friday, June 19, 2009

Most Excited About the UFL Award Goes to Me

Professional football is coming back to Orlando, and I'm talking real football. Not played in a basketball arena on a 50 yard field, no interceptions by fans, and no air conditioning to keep you cool. Thats right, at the games you'll get to sweat as much as the players. Last night was the secret draft, and Orlando did a pretty good job. Brooks Bollinger who played with the Cowboys last year will be quarterback. Brooks led a drive against the Giants last year for a touchdown. And if that doesn't get you excited injury prone Chris Perry was also selected by Orlando. Chris Perry was a first round pick for the Bengals in 2004 and has 2 more NFL touchdowns than I ever will.

Other teams in the UFL will be in Las Vegas, New York, and San Francisco. Lets hope that in the league of two worded cities the city with one word will be King.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Vacation?

Apparently all you need to do to get traded away from Denver these days is casually mention traveling somewhere to your GM. Here's an actual, unedited transcript of a conversation between Brandon Marshall and Brian Xanders:

Marshall: "Hey Brian, I'm thinking of going to Florida for a week before training camp. You know, check out the South Beach scene and relax on the beach a little."
Xanders: "You've just been traded to Miami for a box of cocoa puffs and a year's subscription to Us Weekly"
Marshall: "Hey all I wanted to do was go on vaca..."
Xanders: "Too late!"

Seriously, the whole Jay Cutler thing was kind of absurd and there will be personality clashes sometimes. But why even think about trading away your best up-and-coming receiver? Something's rotten in the city of Denver.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Drought Season is Upon Us

One of the best postseasons in recent memory is just behind us. Watching it, we found out that Kobe can win without Shaq. We learned that King James can't win without, well, anyone else. We were surprised that the Rockets could win games without Tracy McGrady OR Yao Ming, and that the Celtics could do the same without KG. We learned that if one overtime is exciting, two is a heart attack. We grew to really, really hate commercials featuring NBA players as muppets. But over the course of the last 40 or so days, we learned that the NBA can sometimes actually be exciting to watch. Now that it's over, only three questions remain: What do we do with our time now? What will we learn next postseason? And will we ever get that Kanye West "Amazin" theme out of our heads?

While you ponder that, I've got to go figure out what channel baseball is on these days.